Overcome your fears

Every day I drive home from work, where I am a high school librarian, I pass by this beautiful barn during sunset. I seem to hit the spot at the right moment when the sun is low, the colors are warm and my heart skips a beat. For months, I've slowed down, taken a look, soaked it all in and kept on driving. I was afraid. I was afraid to get out of my car on a busy road, step out with my camera and capture the moment.

Each day I'd have my camera neatly belted beside me in the car. I'd slow, look at the breathtaking view, look at my camera and sigh. I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face my fear of looking silly in public. I mean, wouldn't everyone who passes by say "Look, there's Katelyn being silly!". For, they all must know me and will remember seeing this, right?

Not only was I nervous about looking foolish, I also had to figured out where to park. Where I turn, slow and take it all in, there is absolutely no shoulder. I couldn't park on the grass either, as a little hill went up the side of the road. It took me a few weeks of constantly thinking about this image and looking at the roads as I passed to figure out exactly where to park. I chose the main street, with cars flying past at 55mph and the shoulder being the only 2 feet available to park in the area (without a long walk of course). Then it was just a waiting game until I felt I could do this!

Today was that day. I thought about it the whole way home. I knew I could do it. I wasn't sure the result would be any good, but I wanted to try anyway. I pulled over, hit the hazards and jumped out with lightening speed. Snapping away, I forgot for a moment where I was and how weird I must look. Here, a woman in dress pants, shoes and dress coat hoping around a field with her camera. Surely, she must have lost her mind!

I see so many gorgeous images of street side views. I have yet to see any photographer getting out of their car on any drive I've ever taken. This was my challenge. It faced me every sunny day for the past six months. I knew my time was limited, as the sun is staying up longer and my timing would soon be completely off on my way home. I had to act soon, or the chance would be missed. And I'm glad I did.

Photography has opened up a world to me that didn't exist back in high school or even during college. It has given me the opportunity to express myself and challenge myself on every level. It has offered me the chance, to really overcome my fears and try something new with each image I take. For those who know me really well, they know I am always in need of a new challenge. Finally, I feel I've met my match. There will never be a time when I say that there is nothing more to challenge me within photography, as it is so vast of an art.

Here's the image I've been hoping to get for the past six months...

Overcome your fears

Bambi's Camera Shy

I love Bambi, but she hates to have her picture taken. This is just not possible, to hate the camera and have a mommy photographer! Can I borrow your dog to play with?

Instead, she is not thrilled when she sees the camera come out. She always runs away! Tonight, she was being completely silly hiding her bone. Usually she just sleeps for 23 hours a day, but today she had some movement. She must have walked around for thirty minutes hiding it upstairs, then carrying it downstairs, then back up again.

I was trying to capture her silliness, but instead she just stuck her tongue out at me!

Right now... she sleeping in my lap.

Bambi's Camera Shy

Listen and see...

Photography has taught me two things over the past year, how to be a better listener and how to have patience. Prior to starting my biz, I tended toward being in a rush to get through life and reach the finish line. Life was a marathon and I wanted to finish under 2:30 with the elite. My experiences have shaped and changed me, for the better. It's not about the finish line anymore, but it's about the journey on the way to the finish.

You may wonder how photography has taught me to listen. (I will cover patience in another post.) You might think, "You set your settings, look for a picture and snap away". What does that have to do with listening?

As I've met new and interesting people, I've taken a little time to learn about them. Every client I meet is vastly different and every photo session is a different mix of personality, setting and results. When I first started, I would talk with my clients, but I was not really sure how much I should learn about them or ask, as I didn't want to be rude or nosy! I would show up with my list of shot ideas and hope that it all worked out.

Throughout the first few sessions, I learned something major in photography. It was not technical. It didn't have to do with shutters, aperture, ISO or lenses. Just by listening to my clients share their life, their stories, their joys and sadness, I was able to grasp their true character in my images. Understanding what they do, what they love and what they don't love, offered me some insight into who they were.

In every session, I go in knowing that my first few shots are probably not going to be considered in my final set. It's a new experience for most and everyone's a little bit nervous! During those first moments, I'm questioning listening to find the essence of my subjects. My clients start to relax with my big camera in front of them and then begin to open up, laugh and share who they really are. I spend my time throughout the rest of the shoot questioning, listening, understanding and remembering what they tell me to offer them more after the shoot.

After every session, I am surprised at how much I feel like a part of the family. I've actually been confused with being family at an event as well! It is such a happy feeling and it shows in my images. Every image I take, I want to tell their story. Listening is so important in photography. When you listen, you feel and when you feel, you capture that special moment.

A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into. ~Ansel Adams

Photography has taught me to "listen" well, not just "hear" anymore. I no longer bring a shot list with me, but I just go into every shoot with my mind wide open and my ears ready to listen. I truly experience every session right along with my clients. Learning to listen in photography, has also helped me listen more in my daily life. I can't help but listen and take mental snapshots of moments throughout my day.

Here are some moments that I won't forget...

Listen and see...

Winter Creativity / new jersey photographer

Wow, it's been a week since my last post! I have been keeping myself on my toes with my 365 project in the midst of my schedule somehow always filling up at the last minute. I have tried to do as many group themes as possible, but some days I'm ready to hit the sack and I'm not feeling that creative. A photo still has to be taken... and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

My creative spirit wanes during the winter months, when things slow down. It gets quiet outside, people are off the streets, I wear layers upon layers and still feel cold. The colors are dull, drab and dark. Now is the perfect time to read, explore and master the options on my camera that I don't use in a normal shoot. Instead of buying the latest, greatest gear, I want to master the art of the photograph. My clients don't care what shutter speed I use, if I have the latest Canon DSLR body, or whether or not I shoot in Raw or Jpeg. They just care about the final image and really, so should I.

I've learned a lot over the past few years about the more technical aspects of photography. Really, great photographs come down to the aperture, shutter speed and iso settings. No matter what camera you have, these settings all are at work. Make the perfect combination for what you're trying to achieve and you've got your shot.

If you don't know what these things are, I suggest you pick up Bryan Petersen's "Understanding Exposure". I've read and re-read his book a few times now and I always learn something new and I begin to explore a different aspect of my photography.

I used to shoot primarily in Aperture Priority Mode ("Av" on your dial). I knew what I wanted the image to look like, I'd set my f/stop and I'd go shoot. I never thought much about shutter speed and just allowed the camera to pick that for me. It worked well for awhile, but then the camera wouldn't do what I wanted it to do when in certain lighting conditions. I couldn't get the shot to look the way I wanted, how rude!

Over the past year, I've become more comfortable forcing my camera into settings it wouldn't normally do itself. I now shoot in Manual Mode ("M" on your dial) with Manual Focus as well. I have complete control over every shot and how I want it to appear. Sure, those auto settings help out from time to time, but it's so much more exciting to pull something out of yourself and put it into the image you are creating. Now, manual shooting is kind of difficult in self-portraits, but it can and has been done :)

I'm not sure where I'm headed, but the next year will probably take me places I couldn't imagine now. I have been reading a lot of blogs and books, while also exploring my own creativity the past few weeks. I will continue to explore myself and my images until the weather warms, the colors turn bright and the days are longer.

Winter Creativity / new jersey photographer

Kathy / new jersery - new york model photographer

Kathy is just so fabulous! We met over the summer for a boudoir session, which lead to Kathy landing a modeling contract in NYC. How awesome is that? I was thrilled to hear from her again this winter, to take lifestyle shots for her agency portfolio. Kathy knows how to model and she's got the look. We had such a super awesome session, with lots of clothing changes and poses. We even headed outdoors to get a few exercise shots, but it was faaa-rrreeee-zzzing (more-so for Kathy, I was all bundled up)!

Here are a few images from our session...

Kathy / new jersery - new york model photographer

On Display in Toms River / photographer art gallery

My photography artwork is on display at the Toms River Library! I used to work in this library a few years ago and have made some wonderful friends there. Stop by and check out my display on the 2nd floor during the entire month of January!

Chris did an excellent job hanging the photographs, I couldn't have done it without his help. He's such a stickler for things, as if I were left to my own devices it would all be crooked and all over the place. He even rearranged the lighting for me too! It's great to have such a supportive hubby to help me with things like this :)

On Display in Toms River / photographer art gallery