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Not one day goes by...

...that I haven't thought about my dad and missed him a ton! My dad passed away two years ago, today. I still talk to him every day and hope he can hear me. Sometimes I'm lucky enough that he'll send me a sign or he visits me in my dreams. He's only visited me twice before, but I was lucky again last night.

I had a dream... my car started to overheat. The dials were spinning all over the place, red lights were blinking! It was complete chaos. I pulled into a gas station and sat there, confused and stressed out. Then I looked out the window and my dad was standing there. I stepped out of my car and told him what was happening. A ton of steam poured out of the hood of my car. He said to me, in his usual tone, "Kate, turn on the a/c so the fan comes on." So I did. Then, in a voice of complete confidence, he told me to keep searching and I'll find the answer I need.

Now, I have to tell you that my dad was a fanatic car guy. He knew how to fix almost anything on a car and was always the first person I called when I heard a knocking sound, saw a light come on or had a question about my car. He taught me to do my own tune-ups and oil changes. He was always there, whenever I needed him. And he taught me that I could learn to do anything and to fix anything, myself. (My mom instilled that in me too!)

This afternoon, I shared my dream with Chris. I smiled and was happy to see and hear my dad again, as it has been so long. Chris said to me, "Kate, the car is your current stress. The steam is the release of that stress. Your dad was there to tell you everything will be okay and that you'll be able to search and find the answer to solve your problems." Now, how's that for an amazing husband?

I never thought to equate my dream to anything more than just getting to hear and see my dad. Maybe Chris is right. I have been under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, most of which is out of my control. I felt so relieved after this dream, as if the stress was the steam that just poured out of the engine. I know I will be okay and so will those around me. I just have to keep searching...

My dad always complained when I'd take a zillion photos of him, but he was also the first to always ask "Kate, where's your camera?" when I decided not to bother anyone with it. Thank goodness I never backed down, because while I cannot have my dad here with me, I'll always have these and many other images to remember him by.

I miss you, dad :)

Our last photo together, just us :)

I was always on the outskirts, hanging with my dad at events.

My dad loved Chris so much for me.

I am so thankful to God every day that he let him be with me to walk me down the aisle, on that beautiful September day.

Only 293 Days Left to Go...

I mentioned in a prior post that I was participating this year, again, in the 365 Project. It hasn't been easy remembering to take a self portrait every day for the past 72 days, but I have managed not to miss a day, or an emotion. Some days I leave my SP until the very end of the day and it's a tiring image of what's left of my energy. Other days, I plan ahead or just luck out with an interesting concept. And, of course, there are phenomenal groups and individuals on Flickr who inspire me daily with ideas and images.

At first glance, you may think this is very vain. Actually, it is the total opposite. Throughout the my 365, I learn a lot more about myself and I grow in leaps and bounds as a photographer. The reason I am where I am today, is because of the 365 project that I started in 2008.

If you've ever participated in such a project, you quickly learn that it isn't easy. It's not about just capturing myself with a snap shot, although some days that's all I end up with. 365 is about capturing feelings, emotion and conveying them through images. Or exploring buttons, dials, lighting, props or scenery I've never explored before. While I love to be on the back side of the camera for portraits, this helps me to understand my clients, what they feel in front of the camera. I get camera shy too!

Here are a few wonderful images throughout the past 72 days of my project...

This image was not planned this way, but when I saw it, I was just drawn to it.

This is a glass apple my dad gave me many years ago. I'll always cherish it.

See, I wait until the end of the day and sometimes I'm in my pajamas! My brother-in-law bought me that book :)

The cold of winder brings out so many feelings inside.

Sometimes we must keep our heads and eyes to the heavens for guidance.